Diving into the Deep Blue

What is the definition of super heroes? I always wondered when I was a little kid if super heroes really existed or not. But apparently, to my disbelief, there was none. No Super Man, Spider Man, Batman or even Wonder Woman.

Super heros tend to have great physical strength as well as astonishing appearance. They tend to rescue people and have supernatural powers that common people don’t possess. However, I believe my definition of super hero differs than the common stereotypes of super heroes. In MY definition, I think it it someone who can help make a difference in your daily life by making a smile on your face or so. If you feel blue because you feel stressed out, a super hero would make you feel better by supporting and comforting you. They don’t necessarily make your day by doing any of the work for you, but instead are always next to you when you tun on your SOS button.

I think I have a lot of super heroes in my environment such as my family, friends and even some teachers. My super heroes tend to know deep and bottom of my heart and feelings, there for, knows a lot about me. Because NO ONE is perfect, super heroes do make a mistake. When they do this, don’t get affected by it and let them be as they are, for you yourself can be a super hero as well.

You,myself and others,  the super heros, can make a difference in the world:)

Every time I see myself in the mirror, I can feel my thighs getting thicker and thicker. A new section of body fat called “yup- gu-li-sal” formed which I never had or seen before. I am even too scared to go near the weight scale, but I measure myself anyways from time to time when I have nothing to do. I then get shocked of how much I weigh compared to me in 8th grade. Although I did grow like seven centimeters, I think I gained like about 8 kilograms. I know SHOCKING. It is disgusting seriously when I imagine how much weight I gained.

To some event, I blurted out that I wanted to be anorexic( but not now obviously!). I even tried to throw up all the food that I ate in the toilet, but that didn’t work-_-.( this was like 3 months ago).

However, knowing that I wouldn’t and couldn’t do such “unhealthy” things, I didn’t try it anymore:)

You may think, why do girls stress over their weight? It is a very good question because I never asked myself before. Thinking it about it now, I think the main reason is because of the media. On TV, all celebrities and models are so skinny that makes us compare ourselves to them. Even on internet that Koreans look at 24/7, the celebrities’ profiles are horrifying because their height is like 170cm and their weight is like 47 kilograms. When people view the people on TV as normal, everyone’s perspectives begin to change. The fact that there are people who are like that makes us think it is common for people too.

I think the easiest way to loose weight is controlling what and how much you eat. However, the easiest way to become healthier and stronger is by working out and creating muscles. But we have to note that making muscles, does not decrease the number on the weight scale, but increases it. Yes, I know. SHOCKING.

In conclusion, I think it is unsafe for people to try to loose weight with pressure and stress. Instead, I think trying to control your weight step by step by measuring the food you eat and working on daily exercises is the best way to go!

I know that a lot of girls or even boys, are thinking just like me right this second.

Apparently, last week, I was sick to death because of a stomach virus, so when I missed school on Friday, I got to read The Good Earth and wrote this…

In the beginning of Pearl Buck’s The Good Earth, the readers are introduced to a poor farmer, Wang Lung, who lives with his dad. He takes good care of his father and is diligent at his work. Getting close to the marrying age, his father seeks a spare slave, O-lan, from the rich Hwuangs, to give in hand in marriage to Wang Lung. Although O-lan is  not beautiful, Wang Lung is pretty satisfied with her for her role in the house. She helps him a lot with the farming work. As harvest continues, O-lan gives the birth to two sons. Wang Lung earns a lot of money due to the good harvest and he continues to save his silver. He is eventually wealthy enough to buy two lands from the Hwangs because the Hwangs are not doing well. However, as O-lan gets pregnant for the third time, she gives birth to a daughter. The land is dry  and drought has taken place. All the farmers are having a hard time and their families starve, including Wang Lung’s family. However, noticing his prosperity, the jealous uncle of Wang Lung spreads rumors that Wang Lung has enough to eat to give it to the whole neighborhood that makes Wang Lung’s friends furious and barges in Wang Lung’s house. Seeing that it was a false rumor, they apologize.

Wang Lung determines to escape the hunger and move to the south with his family. In the south, Wang Lung’s family beg and steal in order to keep them in a shelter and eat. However an outbreak arises from the poor angry at the rich, which causes Wang Lung to have a handful of gold for he takes part of the outbreak.

Wang Lung and his family goes back home and starts a new living for he is now rich. He gives birth to another son and buys more land. He  is attracted to this beautiful young women named Lotus and makes her his concubine. He visits her everyday for her beauty and almost ignores O-lan. He does everything that a rich man would do and doesn’t even notice O-lan getting sicker and sicker every minute. Finally, Wang Lung makes O-lan stay in bed and calls a doctor. O-lan’s last wish is to see her son getting married before she dies. When the first son comes back from university, Wang Lung makes sure he gets married and O-lan dies right after the wedding. Wang Lung feels guilty for not giving much attention to him when she has given her everything to him.

After O-lan’s death, Wang Lung’s sons begin to rebel against his plans for their life. They do not have interest in farming as well as shows no devotion to land. Instead, they look land as to sell for money. In addition, his first and second sons often argue over money, and their wives develop an intense hatred toward one another. In his old age, Wang Lung takes a young slave, Pear Blossom, as a concubine. When Wang Lung asked for her to kill his retarded daughter for he is afraid that no one will take care of her. Instead, she promises to care for his retarded daughter after his death. In time, Wang Lung is surrounded by grandchildren, but he is also surrounded by petty family disagreements. By the end of the book, despite Wang’s passionate dissent, his sons plan to sell the family land and divide the money among themselves, signaling their final break with the land that made them wealthy.

The title, The Good Earth, is itself the theme of this book. Buck represents the idea of land for the Chinese people and it’s culture by showing the devotion to land from Wang Lung. The earth provided everything for the Chinese people for it gave them prosperity, harvest, wealth as well as poverty, famine and starvation. There was a parallel connection between the earth and the people, for whenever the earth suffered, the people suffered and whenever the earth was prosperous, the people were prosperous.

One of the themes in this book is the cycle of the wealthiness. We can see that when Wang Lung was poor, he worked diligently and was thankful for the tiniest things. He was very different from the sons of the Hwangs. The sons of the Hwangs were portrayed as people who were far from working hard and filled with laziness because they had money. However, as he grows more prosperous and wealthy, we can see that Wang Lung is not much different than the men of Hwangs. He looses interest in farming. He is changes his interest in his appearance, money, and beautiful young women. Although Wang Lung realizes and regrets that he has been blinded by wealth after the death of O-lan, his sons, are not much different from the sons of the Hwangs mentioned in the earlier chapters. Being in the environment where Wang Lung is prosperous as the the father Hwang, Wang Lung’s sons portray the Hwang’s sons for their laziness to do hard work and having no appreciation for land.

The protagonist of the novel, Wang Lung starts off as a hard, diligent worker who regards land as a life- carrying being. However, he is always jealous of the rich Hwangs next door and is blinded by money and wealthiness after he got a taste of it. Although Wang Lung portrays his piety and his sense of goodness through taking care of his father, helping out his uncle and loving his retarded daughter, we can see that he is easily manipulate by the rich.

O-lan, the second major character does not only represent one of the women in Chinese culture, but also represents the earth herself. She always helps out Wang Lung  with his work, provides family food, gives birth to his children, but is given nothing back. She doesn’t complain, for she never talks, but continues to accept whatever situations she faces. She is like an ideal Chinese women who doesn’t complain and obeys her husband in this aspect. With the absence of O-lan, Wang Lung realizes how hard it is without her and without the earth, Wang Lung goes through hardship as well.

Pearl Buck’s The Good Earth is a book with many themes that portrays the culture of China in the 1800s. Similar to The Grapes of Wrath, we can observe poverty, wealth, and happiness mainly depended on the state of land for it was the age of agriculture. With a big pack of family and the land to take care of, farmers went through obstacles and obstacles to reach peace. Although many farmers wished to be the wealthy and the rich, the book portrays that you cannot obtain the same happiness from money than from the earth.

I was really bored this weekend ( i was actually supposed to study for ap bio more ;( ) and I decided to write something formal after the book that I read…

So if your looking for something REALLY FUN to read, don’t read this. Seriously.

But if your really really bored, be my guest to read it all

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee starts off by a recollection of Scout, the first person narrative, about her childhood memories of a trial on a black man in a small all white community, in the city of Maycomb. Scout and her brother, Jem, experience various things that are puzzling to the children at that such as prejudice, social class, discrimination, isolation, and racism throughout this book.
The childhood innocence of Scout and Jem is diminished, while the novel unfolds. During their childhood, they would often ring a bell to the mysterious Boo- Radley’s house and play games. One of the major events where Atticus Finch, the father of Scout and Jem, defenses a black man named Tom Robinson, the children cannot understand why the jury could convict when listening to an intoxicated and crazy man, Bob Ewells. Jem, Scout, and Dill are bewildered by the existence of strong racism and discrimination in the happy community of Macomb. Later on, they figure out Tom Robinson made an attempt to escape, but he failed to do so and gets killed. The person who accused Tom Robinson guilty of rape, Bob Ewell, tries to harm anyone who is included in the case. He stalks Tom Robinson’s wife and tries to harm Scout and Jem in a dark night, but due to the entering of Boo- Radley, Scout and Jem are saved and ends the story with Bob Ewell dead.

The narrator and the protagonist of To Kill a Mockingbird, Scout is a very intelligent girl relative to her age and the time that she lived in. She likes to hang around with boys and does not have much interest in feminine things. She is also very observant and has a curiosity of wonder that always makes her ask questions to her wise father, Atticus Finch. Another major character, Atticus Finch, the father of Scout and Jem, provides a role model image throughout in this book by his different thoughts on race and discrimination. He fights for justice and morality among all the races and equality.
One of the major themes in this book is the role of education. Harper Lee, with using the character of Atticus Finch, derives that education is significant in one’s lives and should be carried out. If education exists and is continued out, people will stand for morals of justice and equality just like Atticus Finch. We can sense the theme of education between the relationship of Atticus and his children. Because Scout and Jem are so well educated by Atticus, the reading ability of Scout makes her school teacher annoyed. The actions of Atticus such as reading to his children, treating them like adults, trying to engage them into deep conversations that children couldn’t understand, portrays of how he wanted his children to be matured mentally. One concept that Atticus taught to the children was never to bother an individual who is not bothering you through the symbol of mockingbird. “ quote”. Through the whole book, he tells them to be always truthful to yourselves and following your own thoughts is the key in life.
Another major theme of this novel is the capability of humans to obtain both good and bad traits. Not only is there a definite line of boundary that separates the good and the bad, but the novel tells us people stand between them. William Cunningham’s father, for example, is known as a poor, but well mannered man who has been always paying back to people of whom he borrowed from. He would always pay back annually, but in a different form. However, when Atticus waits in front of the jail, he encounters the scene with men trying to keep Atticus out of the way to win the trial. Then later in the trial, feeling guilty for what he has done, Cunningham was the only man who stood up for Robinson as being innocent. Through the young and innocent child, Scout, we learn that not only good things happen like all children imagine it to be. The harsh prejudice around people with different color race, social class and honors exists due to the innate natures of human instinct. Scout and Jem’s faith among the good side of the world is torn apart by many events in this novel such as the trial of Tom Robinson. Because the children experienced the nature of good and bad, they are able to move out form their state of childhood and into the adult world. The children develop a sense of maturity, realizing there is no definite side of good and evil, but there is a coexistence of innate human nature of how people have the ability to do both good and bad things. The stereotypes, discrimination, and the racism that occurs within the society are all interlocked with another. The differences among the individual’s background, culture, society and perspectives allow these to form and carry it out by action. Whether or not there is an intention to create prejudice, it is natural for every single person to have some fixed idea in mind.
The title of this book, To Kill a Mockingbird, symbolizes something really big. Harper Lee represents Boo- Radley and Tom Robinson to be the mockingbirds of this novel. Tom Robinson is a mysterious and isolated person from the rest of the neighbors in Maycomb. People are frightened of his mysterious character, but later we find out he is actually a nice person, who happens to save the lives of Scout and Jem. Tom Robinson is a black man who is accused of rape to a white woman. Even though he did not really commit the crime, the fierce racism toward the blacks couldn’t prove him innocent. He dies by trying to escape from the death seat. Mockingbirds in general, are very shy birds, except when a person comes near by it tries to attack because they are scared that he or she might kill him. It is also said that mockingbirds, if they see themselves, they think that their reflection is an enemy and attacks itself, committing suicide. Boo- Radley and Tom Robinson is similar to mockingbirds because they are both shy and quiet. But if something causes them harm, they will do anything to escape and attack it. We can say they are actually nice and caring people, but they tend to get a long with the crowd in a different way.
While reading this book, Harper Lee wrote the novel in a young girl’s perspective. Perhaps she wanted to show the perspectives upon discrimination and racism to be neutral. If it were to written in Atticus’s perspective or Bob Ewell, it would have created too much bias and depending on the perspective of the character, and the balance of neutrality would not have been at zero.  By reading it from Scout’s character, we had an easy understanding of what neutral thoughts were.
The discrimination towards black people from white people existed since the beginning of slavery in America. There were segregations between them from buses, schools, and even water fountains. Harper Lee wrote this book based on the background on this time period. The most influence that Harper Lee got was from the case of the Scottsboro boys, where her father was the lawyer who defended for them. The Scottsboro case was where nine innocent young black men were accused of rape to two white women. We can tell that Scout’s character in To Kill a Mockingbird is Harper Lee and Atticus’s character is Lee’s father. During this time, when Lee wrote this book, people started to realize the discrimination between whites and blacks was so harsh. To Kill a Mockingbird made people become aware because it provided the exact reality of the current state of discrimination that Harper Lee uses to tell this to us.
Although prejudice, racism and discrimination had decreased immensely between the whites and blacks and other races from the time of Great Depression, I still see it today. There are numerous amounts of stereotypes on each and every group of individual depending on their skin color, religion, culture and background. A book like To Kill a Mockingbird shows the reality of the social prejudice and we should continue to learn from the mistakes that we made from the past.

@ my grandmother’s house.

During my 10th grade year, I don’t know why, but I have isolated myself from a lot of things. I was always open

and outgoing in 8th grade and 9th grade. However, I started to have a totally different side of me in 10th grade.

I didn’t use my phone that often, which meant no hour long phone calls or continuous texting back and forth.

I didn’t even download msn untill the second semester and it is gone again because I renewed my mac.

I deactivated my facebook account for quite a long time (I think).

I stayed my best to not interfere with community and sometimes even family.

(But I did download skype and mainly just talked to Kristin in the first semester.)

I have no reason why I did this, but it is quite comfortable when you do not know what is going on the world. Some people might ask, “How do you live without MSN or your phone?”. Many teenagers will think that is social suicide, but seriously, it’s not that bad.

I think the main reason for my state of isolation was in order to “punish” myself for not being efficient and time managing in academics. However, even though I basically threw away my phone and chatting downloads, it still does not work. I think procrastinating is my human nature, literally. I did my best to get away from the media and people, there are always leak ways that I go through and making me procrastinating and regretting.

Should I continue isolation?

English F Block is the MOST energetic class among my classes that has some of the smartest students.

Or shall we say ALL students in this class are smart according to Ms. P.

When we enter in this class, we can see distinct personalities of each and everyone.

Let’s start with Ms. P- Ms. P is usually sitting in front of her computer listening to classical music. She has all these funny stories and catchy sayings that cracks the whole class up that makes the whole class listen to her and forget to multi- task and write the journals as well. Then after her talking, she says that we need to be done with the journals within one minute, but gives us more time because of our loveliness….. I think. Her favorite quotes are ” Oh my gaud gaud” or ” I’m not saying, but I’m just saying”. And other things from Office that I do not understand, but others do…

Lydia Ahn- Lydia used to sit in the far right corner in the classroom, but for some reason and I do not know when, she started to sit next to Jane and Susan, the opposite side. We usually work on our rest of the annotations of Dracula at lunch in AP Bio room after AP Bio club, when we should study AP Bio… hahahaaha. She gets nervous like me in discussions, but is pretty hyper in class.

Soobin Bae- One of the cutest, strongest, shyest, skinniest and tallest girls in our class. She is way too cute for words and has a very pretty British accident. She is usually quiet and non-hyper unlike Lydia (LOL). She used to sit next to Lydia and they are DOL partners. And she’s good at squash.

Cindy Choi- SO FUNNY. I think she is really skilled in acting and makes everyone laugh. When we were doing the acting activity for Dracula, she was Jonathan Harker and the three S.A.Ws at the same time, which was hilarious. I wished we filmed it…. just loved it so much.

Olivia Edwards- Has this lovely accident similar to Soo bin’s that everyone is jealous about!She participates well in discussions and presents her ideas and opinions in a confident way. And she’s not here today If she’s sick, I hope she feels better.

Seung Woon Eun- the “Michael Phelps” in our school. hahahaahaha. He’s usually qiuet, but tries to participate in discussions a lot. He kind of gets red like me when he’s in front of an audience.

Ji Yoon Hyun- my deejoonie since 8th grade. Loves Ms. P’s quotes and likes to use it outside of class to me hahahaha. She tends to laugh a lot in class and I can hear her unique laugh from the otherside of the class. She usually laughs about the funny things that Ms. P says. I think she really likes this class hahahahaha

Ha Jung Kim- A very very quiet girl in class. I think she is too shy to talk in front of the whole class, but when you get to know her, she talks and she’s nice. I’m not that confident either, but try being more confident!

Jenn Kim- Cute, cute, and cute are the words to describe her. Her sneezes sound more like mine every day. She seems shy, but when you know her she’s NOT. She likes to talk in discussions and present her ideas. There are so many similarities, but one thing that is common in English class is that we both don’t get jokes made by Ms. P or others. It’s either we don’t know what show the quote is from or we just don’t get it. LOL

Priscilla- She writes her writing all in capital letters with perfect handwriting! She likes to go against people’s arguments providing counter examples. She has this thing with Ms. P about “carrots” that no one knows. She is funny and tends to talk a lot in discussions.

Jenice Lee – is one of the shy and cute girls as well. She doens’t talk much in class, but it’s the same outside of the class too. However, she’s pretty funny outside of class. She sits between Kathy and Pricsilla. She is usually tardy because she rides public transportation.

Kathy Lee- Has the CUTEST voice in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. She looks shy, but she is NOT. She is one of the most talkative person with the exception of Susan and Jane in this class. She talks a lot in discussions with this voice of a five year old. Love her and her voice.

Julian Lee- Was quiet first, but says things in discussions that is so deep and things that no one thought of before and shocks us.

Timothy Lee- Love his acting HAHAHAHHA. It makes everyone laugh. He seems so real when he’s acting. He is usaully quiet too.

Chris Nam- A PURE FUNNY GUY. Most of the students do not understand what he is talking about during discussions except for Ms. P. Sometimes he goes on things that doesn’t seem relative to what we are talking about, so we have to clarify what he means at least 3 times. He is very slow when talking and everything else.  love this guy hahahahah

Susan Park- sits next to me and is PURE FUNNY AND LOUD. She is the one of the people who knows what Ms. P is talking about. She is very good at discussions in terms of how much she read (LOL) and likes to provide counter examples for other people’s arguments just like Priscilla. makes Ms. P laugh. A LOT

Jane Woo- the last person that I am going to write about. She is long, skinny and SMART. I love her blog so much that I laugh by myself at home while reading hers. She talks a lot in discussions and is usually clarifying what Chris is talking about. She always has snacks and shares with me.

I love my class

Why do we do it when we know it is going to just waste our time and not help us in our academic life?

I bet there is NO ONE who hasn’t procrastinated before except for people with exceptions… ahem Hanna (a friend who is a perfect student). Even people who has a brilliant brain.. ahem Chris ( super brilliant) procrastinates a lot. hahaha. I also tend to procrastinate a lot therefore I even deactivated my facebook account. However, without facebook, there are so many other sites to go to and procrastinate such as youtube or cyworld.

Once again, I started watching all the 2pm, wondergirls and other JYP entertainments on youtube. I have no idea why I like watching the daily lives of starts, but it sure wasted my time for studying AP Bio as well as other homework that is due the day after.

I cannot think straight when I am procrastinating about the consequences after the procrastination. I feel like if I am being absorbed or sucked into a black hole that I can’t get out. However, after the next morning in the bus, I regret it so much that I want to chop myself into pieces or rip out all my hair out. Yes, I know, cruel, but true.

One thing that we can remind ourselves that think about the consequences before procrastinating. What so ever, all students are going to keep procrastinating until they have 100% determination. I want the determination in me, but I guess it is about 50% of determination.

God please help me for dear life.

I forgot to post this post like two weeks ago ,but this an explanation that I wrote after I wrote after my last blog post.

I got to write this story because something actually similar came up in my dreams. I just elaborated and made some things up to make the story more exciting. Okay so, this is the acutal dream that I dreamt of.

I was walking into a new school in an unfamilliar environment like I said in my story.( However, there were so many scene shifts that I can’t remember). But something that I DO remeber is that my mom turned into a vampire and so did I. I also went into a dark library to get some information about draculas and vampires, and I met weird ghost looking people. IN ADDITION, Lydia came up in my dream going to the super market with me and buying food for herself. I know. She’s always the same even in my dream.

If a dream analyzer reads this, please interpret this dream for me.

I think the reason why I am having these vampires dreams is because everything this year is about vampires. Starting with Twilight, then with Dracula by Bram Stoker, and music videos…. I actually liked the book Dracula that we read last week. I like Gothic genres starting from now due to Edward Cullen. JUST KIDDING. But I do really like Gothic Genres.

Anyone know any Gothic Genre books that I might like?